{"id":6397,"date":"2024-09-04T10:29:21","date_gmt":"2024-09-04T14:29:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/?page_id=6397"},"modified":"2024-09-04T10:29:21","modified_gmt":"2024-09-04T14:29:21","slug":"knocking-nellie-or-the-ballad-of-knocking-nellie","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/?page_id=6397","title":{"rendered":"Knocking Nellie, or The Ballad of Knocking Nellie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Once a favourite requested of Cliff, it doesn’t seem to serve the same amusement with today’s younger crowd wanting less of a story than an immediate punchline.\u00a0 Still, once in a while someone will ask.\u00a0 It was composed by Bernard Wrigley<\/a> sometime in the early 1970’s, as I have been told.<\/p>\n

Jos. Morneault<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gas man, coal man, water board, and bloke who mends the telly,
\nThey’re all the same to Harold’s wife, the famous Knocking Nellie.
\nShe handles all her creditors. For years she’s had no bills,
\nBut of Harrys, Joes and Teddy boys, I know she gets her fill.<\/p>\n

Last week when Harold’s out at work, she’s upstairs with a bloke.
\nHe’s a football pool collector and he’s Nellie’s latest poke.
\nShe’s got his vest and trousers off; she’s asking him for more,
\nBut then she hears her husband dear come walking in the door.<\/p>\n

She bungs her lover in wardrobe door and then she shouts, “Oh, crumbs!”
\nFor hanging out of the wardrobe door were the pools collector’s plums.
\nWhen Harold he came up the stairs and says, “Now, hello, dear.
\nThe boss gave me the day off work\u2014and what’s these dangling here?”<\/p>\n

Well Nellie’s seen this all before and a very good tale she tells:
\n“Well I’ve just been out shopping and I’ve bought these couple of bells,
\nBut they’re not of the ringing kind; in fact, they’re just a joke.”
\nSo Harold lifts his finger up and gives the bells a poke.<\/p>\n

Now Harold keeps on poking and agrees the bells are dead,
\nAnd the bloke inside the wardrobe’s going a funny shade of red.
\nHarold said the bells’ll ring if he clouts them with a hammer,
\nAnd Nellie sitting on the bed can hardly raise a stammer.<\/p>\n

Now Harold hits ’em once and twice but still the bells won’t ring.
\nSo Harold raises up his hammer to have a final swing.
\nHe swore to make the bells go “ding”. By George, he wasn’t wrong,
\nFor bloke inside the wardrobe cried, “For Christ’s sake, ding, ding, dong!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once a favourite requested of Cliff, it doesn’t seem to serve the same amusement with today’s younger crowd wanting less of a story than an immediate punchline.\u00a0 Still, once in a while someone will ask.\u00a0 It was composed by Bernard Wrigley sometime in the early 1970’s, as I have been told. Jos. Morneault   Gas […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":21,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6397","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6397"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6397\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6399,"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6397\/revisions\/6399"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thejovialcrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}