A classic bring-down-the-house song!

Now what are the joys of a single young man?
Why, boozing, bloody well boozing!
And what is he doing whenever he can?
Why, boozing, bloody well boozing!
You may think I’m wrong or you may think I’m right
I’m not going to argue, ‘cause I know you can fight.
But what do you think we are doing tonight?
Why, boozing, bloody well boozing!

Chorus:
 Boozing, boozing, just you and I
     Boozing, boozing, when we are dry.
     Some do it openly, some on the sly
     But we all are bloody well boozing!

And what are the joys of a poor married man?
Why…
And what is he doing whenever he can?
Why…
He comes home at night and he gives his wife all
Then he goes out a-shopping, makes many a call
But what brings him home hanging on to the wall?
Why…

And what are the joys of the poor single maid?
Why…
And what is she doing when she’s not getting laid?
Why…
She comes to the pub and she sucks down the beers,
Then some shaggy fellow, he starts acting queer.
But what makes him end up buying all of her beer?
Why…

And what does the Salvation Army run down?
Why…
And what are they banning in every town?
Why..
The stand on street corners, they rant and they shout!
They shout about things they know nothing about…
But what are they doing when the lights are turned out?
Why…